How I overcame my avoidant tendencies

For a long time, I struggled with an avoidant nature that made emotional closeness feel unsafe instead of comforting. Whenever a relationship began to deepen, I would panic and feel as if I were drowning in emotions, afraid that I would lose my independence or my mental balance. My instinct was always to pull away, think negative, to protect myself before I could be overwhelmed. This pattern created constant inner tension — wanting connection yet fearing what it might do to me. I used to often project my problems on my partner but the shift began through spirituality. Learning to truly trust in Allah and surrender my worries to Him brought a sense of safety I had never experienced before. Understanding Him as "Al-Wakeel" ( the Best Disposer of Affairs) , reassured me that my fears, needs, and unspoken desires were already known and cared for. Alongside this spiritual trust, I practiced simple grounding habits — like changing my posture, sitting or standing when emotions intensified — which helped me stay present rather than spiral. Gradually, patience replaced anxiety, and trust became my anchor. I realized that relying on Allah did not make me weak or dependent; it strengthened my inner security and allowed me to experience emotions without losing myself.